The McCandless Project

I decided to go a full school day without my phone as my project. Very early on, I got reactions I thought I would never get from my friends. For example, one of my best friends Erin was very upset with me because she had texted me multiple times asking to meet up with her before class started and told me to "back off" when I approached her next. Very confused, I asked her why and she told me it was because she thought I was mad at her so she didn't want to get involved with me when I'm upset. A reaction from myself was feeling left out during lunch when everyone was on their phones or listening to music. Before this experience I never realized how unsocial we are at lunch. I also felt like I was missing something and isolated from the world by not having my phone. Technology has become a very common thing in society, which can lead to both good and bad. I believe that we are not free to not involve ourselves in technology because so much of the world is revolving around these tools nowadays that you will miss out.

Personal Quote

I chose my quote, "be yourself because everyone else is taken" because it inspires me not to let other people tell me who I should be and what is the "right" way to live. This quotation is representative of me because I do try my hardest to be myself around everyone. I think this sometimes is difficult depending on the group I'm around and what they believe is "acceptable", for example, my listening to heavy metal while sometimes being stereotyped as someone who wouldn't, based purely off of looks. If I truely lived this quote to the fullest extent, my life would be different because my teachers, family, parents, friends, and church would all know the same me, which could end up as a bad thing, as most of these groups and I do not believe in the same things.

Short Story Rough Draft

“I’m sorry, Hannah. It’s just not working out. This has been a great four years with you, but I need a break.”  I replayed this moment from the beginning of the party in my head continuously. It had come out of nowhere. I felt numb for the rest of the party. I had desired to find Ellie, my 13 year old sister, for over two hours and go home, but she was nowhere to be found. I have been looking for Ellie for over two hours. After nearly giving up and just going home, I spotted Ellie over by a few of her friends. I approach her and say, “Ellie, I know it’s early, but we need to leave.” Ellie didn’t question it when she saw that I looked as sad as the sky during a thunderstorm.

Still thinking about the breakup, I drove in silence. Did I do something wrong? Chris hadn’t shown any signs, just yesterday he was telling me how happy he was in our relationship. I would have never expected this to happen. It came out of nowhere. I must have done something wrong. Tears blurred my vision and I didn’t even notice the traffic light turn blood red.

Suddenly, I heard Ellie’s cry “HANNAH STOP THE CAR!” Before I could even process it, the shattered glass began to cover her frail body. I stared as the shards tore open her pale, delicate skin to pieces as blood came rushing out of her fragile motionless body. The only thing that I could think about was that it was all my fault. The entire passenger side of my car was being wrecked. I already felt the guilt as I began to cry “ELLIE” continuously, hoping for a response. Nothing. Her skin suddenly looked cloud white. Ellie lay silently. I watched in terror as a witness calls an ambulance. I wish it was me instead of Ellie. The other car was shattered in the front, but the driver was walking around and appeared to be fine. I have been driving since I was 16. I had never had an accident before. I had always been a careful driver.

After exiting the car, I began to overthink as I watch the paramedics take Ellie away. I begin to get questioned, and I just stare off into the distance as a single tear rolls down my cheek onto the ground. My mom shows up shortly after Ellie leaves, and we head straight to the hospital. Besides a few bruises, I felt fine. Ellie on the other hand, hadn’t responded since I heard her scream my name in terror. We waited in the waiting room as Ellie couldn’t have visitors at the time. The  A nurse came out to the waiting room just as my mom and I began to call my dad. She told us that something completely unexpected has happened just now. We patiently await her news as she flips through some papers. A few minutes later, she looks up excitedly. “Ellie has taken a turn for the better! She is breathing and has processed information we have given her. We thought within the first few minutes of her arrival that this was impossible! We are expecting to tolerate (family only) this afternoon!” I responded for my mother in awe, saying “Thank you so much! Keep us posted on her progress.”  

I went home much before our mother did. The moment that I saw her face smiling at me and acting as nothing even happened made me feel so much more guilty. She shouldn’t be so happy! I caused a car crash and with a broken arm and spine and a bloody face, she should not be smiling at me. It was all my fault and I could never forgive myself. It seemed the entire world had been calling me and checking in for Ellie and my family. With every call I got, the more guilt I had felt. Everything was always my fault and I always mess up. Ellie didn’t even remember the crash.

The next morning, I dreaded going to school. I didn’t want everyone asking me about Ellie. I just wished I hadn’t caused this whole mess. On top of that, Chris was in my first class of the day. He approached me and told me that it isn’t my fault. He acted like nothing had happened between us. I walked away.

Two years later, Ellie had fully recovered. Ellie didn’t seem to be upset with me at all at that point. Ellie had always been forgiving. I had still felt extremely guilty. Ellie seemed to notice. She had asked me about what was bothering me and I told her everything. Including how guilty I felt. She told me that everything happens for a reason, and that although it wasn’t very smart not to ask someone else to drive that it was done with and that everything turned out fine. From that conversation on, I let go of the past and forgave myself for the mistakes I made. Hurting Ellie so life-threateningly has been the worst experience of my life, yet the most life changing.

Metacognitive Blog: And Then There Were None

I revised a lot from my first draft to my last. For example, I revised grammar and added information about the story. The best way to help me revise was to have my parents read my paper. This was because they hadn't read the book and they helped me decide which parts of my essay were confusing and which made sense. This form of support was also very helpful because they helped me identify which parts of my essay needed to be redone and reworded. I will continue to have my parents read my papers as well as peers and I will read my papers out loud. Reading my papers out loud helps me to see if the way I wrote something sounds right or not. I think I have room to grow with sentence structure and paragraph structure. I also plan to improve the words I use and find better words.